Project : Restart

Day # 19 PIC DAY!!!

2012-01-20T18:39:00.000-05:00

So instead of writing a lengthy blog I want to show you a pic from day one compared to now to show how far I' ve come....I'm so proud of my progress and I couldn't be happier! This project has been an awesome success so far!!!

Me At Day 1

Day 1 again

And THIS is me after 3 weeks! (notice the extra ab coming in???!??!)

Looking GREAT!!!!! (and note I'm flexing in all 4 pics so you can def see a size difference)

In short The time I've put in is really paying off. Some of you probably can't see the difference but I sure as hell can!!!

God bless!!!!

DAILY OOOOOOOOUT!!!

Day #18 - A Trial of my patience

2012-01-19T17:00:00.000-05:00

It was a rather annoying day to say the least. I've learned you can't reason with some people , try as you might. Also, I'm REALLY glad I walked away from that Florida based label....Very talented lot....very unprofessional mentality. That I cannot deal with. I'm looking to build a business...not a nursery.
The one thing I did not enjoy was how angry I got today. I tried my best to let it slide but so many people got under my skin that it just drove me up a wall. Even though I am working hard on change , I still have my days...and trust me today was one of them lol.
On a lighter note I finally convinced Nigel to join up with us, even if its temporary, I really want him to have faith in me in that I WILL make sure we all get known and they he gets his share of the limelight and greenbacks :) . I feel as we work and grow together we may very well become an unstoppable force, but first we need to get this mixtape out. Speaking of that I'm almost done mixing these tracks. Our first mixtape will be a duo type deal with both ryan and I sharing the spotlight. I want to put both our talents front and center before we work on any solo efforts, but it should be fun to release three albums (two solo, one collab).

On the workout tip

SQUATS SUCK. No seriously...THEY SUCK. I swear my legs feel like they are falling off...and tomorrow I have to do them again..NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT. ...but if I ever want to learn to tumble, flip, etc I HAVE to build my leg strength. *sigh* and lets not even get into the leg stretcher....thats just as bad...lol....but I have to get into a rhythm of using that medieval piece of gear if I ever want the flexibility I desire.

Well thats all for now...18 days smoke free and counting!

What What....bitches.

Days #15,16,17 - Why I Was Silent

2012-01-18T17:51:00.000-05:00

So I return with a new blog. Why did I take those couple days off some of you are probably wondering. Did it suck not hearing my inner thoughts, my progress or useless rambling? Probably not, lol ,but know that because of a certain bill that is being pushed you may never hear from me, Google, Youtube or other power sites EVER AGAIN. This bill is called SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) which when you hear the name is kinda what a lot of companies want and it seems cool right? Putting an end to illegal acts on the net! Not a bad deal,...except the bill is so loosely worded and vague that ANYONE who talks about, references , uses a work for non monetary gain that is copyrighted could be held accountable for breach of copyright law and could potentially face jailtime as well as having all their content removed.. WITHOUT an investigation OR a trial. Yeah...doesn't sound too cool anymore does it. This puts just about every website known to MAN at risk. To learn more about SOPA , how websites are fighting against it, and what you can do to support its demise please go here.

NOW BACK TO BLOGGING!!!!!

I have started to really make progress in working out. I'm pushing myself harder than I have ever pushed myself in my life and its mostly due to not smoking. I'm now , on top of doing my 7 weeks to 100 push ups and my normal workout regimen, doing 7 weeks to 200 crunches/7weeks to 50 pull ups/7weeks to 200 squats. My god I feel like I got hit by a freight train but I know all this hard work will be worth it come summer time :)
Also I'm really excited to record today. We are re recording Can't Do It Like Me with my new partner in crime Ryan Lukowich. I see so much potential in his work and our current collab that I can only see dollar signs and great music in our future. Darc Knite Productions may be my brainchild but I can tell you that Ryan stands on equal footing with me. He has great ideas, knows the sound he wants to have and is very open to critique, which makes studio time a breeze. If only everyone worked like that we'd have 30 albums out by now hahaha
So I've got a lot of new things I want to talk about but we will have to save for another day because Ryan is on the way and I got the urge to record! I'l probably come back later to go into more details about all that is coming up, I just didn't want it to get to late without an entry. I KNOW HOW MUCH YA'LL MISSED ME!!!! Hahaha Be back soon!

DAILY OOOOOOUT

Day #14 - Overworked

2012-01-15T20:30:00.000-05:00

It's been a trial in my patience trying to get everything on point lately since the main people I need responses and some kind of work from are being quite elusive or are just plain ignoring me, but thats ok.. I am more than used to people being in their own world and forgetting the things they said they would do for the projects we are both involved in. It won't deter me from my goals but at times it can be pretty frustrating. I try my best to take it all with a grain of salt but it can be tiresome to constantly smile and push forward when things start to be stacked against you. I still press forward though, because I can't go backwards anymore, and I refuse to fail and fall back into a life of mediocrity.
Although we really didn't get any writing done , Ryan and I have agreed on a beat to finally start writing on made by the up and coming producer, Nigel Bowman. He's a good kid although I can tell he is still trying to find his particular sound, but I can tell you this : This guy knows his way around a mixer. I can see him doing great things , and that's one of many reasons I want him on my team. Also , he's extremely versatile so I know I can count on him being able to accommodate a variety of artists. The future is looking bright for Darc Knite Productions! :)
Also, I know I was suppose to post progress photos but this weekend has been a bit hectic with all the hiccups and hurdles we have been hitting due to hold ups with producers and trying to figure out our next move but rest assured I have been sticking to my work out program, and the results are looking pretty good. As soon as things die down I will, THIS WEEK, take photos to show you how I've come along - that I can promise you.
On a good note I have still not touched a drop of booze or a cigarette. I still get nicotine cravings from time to time and trust me, when my friends stop over and are smoking near me I SOOOOOO want to snatch their cigarettes OUT of their hands and suck one down hahah but then I think about singing, working out and most importantly, breathing. Once I get those thoughts going in my head the urge starts to die down. I enjoy how deeply I can breathe now, I enjoy knowing I'm not on the fast track to cancer , that food tastes better and that I don't smell like someone dumped an ashtray on me. I also know it will really pay off once I get back on stage and I'm not winded after the first hour, I am so looking forward to that!!
If anything this weekend wasn't a waste as it was a learning experience in dealing with people and knowing who is really down for making music. I don't have time for half answers and control freaks. I need people who I can talk to and work with and have the ability to see eye to eye on , with equal footing. The minute we start thinking we are above each other is the minute any type of dialogue gets killed. and thats a shame.

One love

S. Daily

Day #13 - The Artist/Producer Relationship

2012-01-14T22:00:00.000-05:00

So its been a day for me , not a bad one , but most certainly a day. My artist and I worked on what we believe to be a really excellent track, which got turned down - which is OK, but how it got initially turned down is what this blog is going to be based upon (now mind you we got this all squared away, but I think it's important for all future artists/producers to understand this dynamic before going into the business)

Producers: you are the backbone of the song, you literally create the landscape and setting of a song that is soon to be created. Everything you create is for the most part (unless commissioned ) an expression and often extension of yourself.

Artists: You are, as is evident, the voice of the song. Now I stress the word artist and not "singer"because those are two very different things. An artist is as much a part of the creative process as a producer, where as a singer only does what is handed to them. There is nothing wrong with that but we are more focused on the artist as a complete package. But I digress, the vision of an artist and their lyrics involves just as much depth and love as a producer puts into their instrumentals.

And then comes the clash.

You see sometimes the problem with two creative beings and their visions is that sometimes they don't match. An artist may have an idea for what they want their sound to be , where as the producer may have a particular sound they want on their beats or instrumental - and what the artist is putting forth isn't it.

So what do we do when two parties with a bunch of creative ideas are on other sides of the spectrum?

COMPROMISE.

There should never be an instance where an artist and his/her producer cannot openly communicate their desires for a particular sound or track. I believe having a dialogue between both parties in the end creates a better end result that all persons involved can enjoy. Lets be real, how often have we heard about artists who leave labels because their voice isn't being heard, or a producer going nuts because some artist thinks they know it all. We should always try to meet halfway REGARDLESS of who is in charge, or at least make some kind of concessions to ease the creative process.

ANOTHER THING

Just because YOU don't like it doesn't mean it's bad. People have varying tastes! Its OK not to like something, hell there is plenty of music I could do without. As a rule of thumb though, when creating a song with someone and the track isn't in a style you are digging, try to remove your personal opinion and see it from a standpoint of "OK I don't like this but is it well written? will it resonate with other parties other than myself?" To cast judgement on music - be it the lyrics , the voice, or the beat - is OK only if its sincerely wrong (i.e. oversimplified lyrics, badly produced, bad vocals, etc). Its NOT OK if its just something you don't like (i.e. the artist has a vision of themselves doing a certain style , but since that style doesn't resonate with you , you choose to not like their work). That in itself is not OK. If that is the case you have two choices 1. work with them, they may not have the same taste, but you can see how others would really like their music or 2. not work with them. In the end though its best to try to understand your artist/producer and see their vision and what they are trying to do.

Lastly if there is a problem, give a good reason or critique as to why. An artist/producer cannot move forward and make changes if there's no reason as to the why. As much as we all wish we are, we cannot read minds, so there's no telling what you do/don't want unless you speak up and clarify what is working for you and what is not. There's nothing more frustrating to an artist/producer than NOT giving a reason why you don't like something. All that does is causes tension and often leads to a strained relationship between you and your artist/producer.

Remember as with any relationship in life : COMMUNICATION IS KEY.

ANYWAY

This is day 13 and I'm feeling rather good. Doubled up on my workout today and I'm feeling buff although I overslept on my nap and I think Ryan is more than ready to get back in here and record another track hahah.

That's all for today. Another success and another day into this beautiful life of change.

Daily OOOOUT

Day # 12 - The Plate Is SOOOOOO Full

2012-01-13T22:28:00.002-05:00

So It's been a REALLY busy day, so I don't have a lot of time to blog it up. LOL I'll make sure to condense everything from today and tomorrow into one blog, just know a lot of good things are happening. I'm working on two really fun tracks that I think are coming out great , and that you guys will totally love! Ryan Lukowich is a joy to work with and I think you guys are gonna dig his sound. We went in on those tracks!
Thing is working on them has thrown me off balance , so I just need to get back into the swing of things and find my stride. Its a work in progress but I shall rise to the challenge. Regretfully I think I'll be doing the vlog every other week as time is becoming a little thin due to all thats happening , but I promise to blog everyday. That I can do.
My week two photos will be up tomorrow afternoon, god willing. My strength is really starting to get up there and im liking what I'm seeing. Things are really progressing nicely! Tomorrow I will also be starting my Singing Success program finally. I was waiting for one key component to come my way and now that I have it I'm going in!!!!
I really can't believe its almost been two weeks since my last cigarette. It's really bugging me out that I've stuck to my guns like this. I've never stayed so dedicated to anything. To me that's a great sign for everything to come this year!

EVERYONE HAVE AN AWESOME FRIDAY!!!

Daily OOOOOOUT

Day #11 - When Microsoft attacks

2012-01-12T20:53:00.001-05:00

So I pulled an all-nighter trying to get myself back in the swing of making music , spent 10 hours on a track, only to come back to see my pc decided to update itself and with it, it took the track I spent so much time on. Needless to say I was more than frustrated. In the end though I believe everything happens for a reason , but man did that burn me up! LOL
On a more positive note because of that I sat here re-listened to the track (after re-recording it for another 4 hours) I realized I wasn't completely sold on the lyrics, I still dig the concept, but in the end losing that song may have been for the best. Nothing sucks more than writing recording mixing and releasing a track that in the end you aren't 100% behind. It just ends up being time wasted and energy misused. So once I am well rested (havent gone back to sleep yet!) I'll jump back on the horse and get things crackin.

NEXT

I've begun working with an extremely talented rapper named Ryan Lukowich. The kid has a lot of potential and I see him going places...all he needs to do is work on his HORRIBLE SLEEPING SCHEDULE. He wakes up at the crack of 4 p.m. YEAH RYAN I SAID IT. WHAT....WHAT!!!!!?!? Lol. In all honesty though he is a rare find in this area that is so inundated with the same 3 types of rappers repackaged in different people. I have the same gripe about rappers out here as I do with a lot of the cover bands out here as well, there isn't many people daring to be different, to stand out. Then again most of these guys are doing it simply for the money - which is probably why they do as they do, and why I could never wrap my head around doing something so mundane as having the same set list as the other 200 bands out here. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE COVER BANDS, when there is a sense of uniqueness to them. Yes , you can be unique and be a cover band. Case and point - M-80. If you don't know who they are and you live in my area,..then please go to the Woodlands on a Wednesday and check them out. Totally awesome group of musicians.

Well that was random..ANYWAY.

So its another day down and another day sober. I think I'm doing pretty well. Also, since I'm feeling a lot better I will begin doing the singing success program, as I've noticed my singing needs a great deal of work still. Others tell me I sound great or fantastic but I know better. I know the voice I use to have and what I'm truly capable of...I just need to put the time and effort in to get myself back to the way I once was musically..or better yet, to surpass anything I have ever been or hope to be.

With that I shall take my leave..because I can barely keep my eyes open

Stay Classy Internets

DAILY GIGGITY GONE!!

Day #10 - The Wager

2012-01-11T20:02:00.000-05:00

So yet another day in the life of this great project of mine and I'm doing great I must say. I've been doing the 7 weeks to 100 push ups and at first I was really shaky but now I'm really getting in the swing of things. It's astonishing what a little hard work and sticking to your guns can do!! The results , even after only a week and a half, are so apparent that I'm beginning to lose sight of what I used to look like! I'll be posting my week 2 progress photos on Friday. There are other things I do in my workout program and I'll be sure to detail all of it during my Friday Vlog, if you so choose to join my mayhem. It's not a long work out...but its a potent one!

IN OTHER NEWS

So the other day I was sitting with my good friend Jim, and as he was about to leave he said, "So Sean, when you start smoking again I wanna be there for it". For a moment I was taken back, wondering if he was kidding or if he was serious. I then replied "What do you mean when, don't you mean IF...and even in that I don't plan on ever smoking again". He smiled and said "Sean, you've tried this before, and you always come back, so WHEN you smoke again I want to be there". "Really?" I retorted as I half-rolled my eyes , "I bet you." said Jim. Now I harbor no ill-will towards Jim and his statements. Honestly, if you look at my past track record every time I aimed to quit or start something, I never followed through. I had a bad case of the lazies. Here's the kicker though, if you compare then to now still, you'll also notice back then I had a tendency to cut corners and act as if I'm trying when I really wasn't.

Things have changed.

The old me would have hid away trying to smoke that cigarette butt out of anyone's eyesight and still claim I've quit smoking. The old me would have worked out one day and stayed claiming that I'm a gym rat. The old me would find any and all excuses to justify any action that I knew would only harm me in the long run. NOT ANYMORE. Now I do my best every day all day and with a smile on my face, because at the end of the day I know I put 100% into my entire day and into myself.

So, Jim, I take you up on that bet. If you could only realize you've given me even more fuel to push to a successful end. Then again, that may have been your intention all along...who knows...but either way...thanks buddy. Now I'm going to give this my all and then some!!!

as the Goonie credo goes :

NEVER SAY DIE!!!!

DAILY ...is not able to answer the phone right now..please leave a message after the beep..

-BEEP-

Day #9 - On The Hunt

2012-01-10T18:05:00.000-05:00

Now that I've settled into my rhythm of positivity and keeping myself focused and healthy, it's time to start going after the things I've always dreamed : A MUSIC EMPIRE!!! Not saying I have to be as big as Jigga man but hey you gotta start somewhere! I've been in contact with A LOT of really talented people who seem to have tons of faith in me and in what I'm trying to do here. It seems with my new mindset I'm attracting the right kind of people into my world, the kind of people who can help me achieve my dreams, while I can help them achieve theirs. It's true that you can't get something from nothing, but you don't always have to pay for it :) . Always keep in mind that if you share like thinking and have talents or traits that are useful to both parties, then you can get just as far or even farther than by simply throwing money at someone. Trust and building lasting bonds and relationships will always outlast a dollar bill. Trust me on that one.
So I'm excited to work with one of my new artists, kid has a lot and I mean a LOT of potential in the music game. It's always refreshing to listen to a hip hop artist who speaks from his heart and mind and not from his wallet or dick. Seriously, it gets so damn tiresome hearing about money and bitches. Show me something different, show me some depth and you will win me over. Also I'm pretty sure if more artists came about like him or common or j. cole and so on, rap would be seen as more than just a song on loop with a black dude wearing gaudy jewelry talking about how many girls he had rolling all over him the night before or about how many street sweepers he owns. It gets old, not saying it isn't true for some artists...but still...time to move on lol

ANYWAY

It's been another amazing day simply because, and I've had some really good things revealed to me as of late :) . I'd go into it further but that would just spoil the surprise hehe. Well its back to scouting more artists and working on this new song idea. If all goes well I'll be posting it on youtube within the next week or two with a video BUT NO PROMISES. Anyway stay blessed and keep pushing through people! I know I am and its gotten me this far!!!

9 Days Cigarette Free - AND COUNTIN SUCKERZ

DAILY OOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT-A

Day #8 - The Second Week Begins

2012-01-09T19:05:00.001-05:00

As I went through my I began to notice something, that I'm beginning to flow in and out of my routine with ease. Its a nice feeling knowing your being proactive in your own life and it being way less of a chore than you thought it would be. I think that was one of the many reasons I gave up so quickly so many times. The thought of putting myself in a more structured routine to get things done kinda scared me because I thought it would be too tedious and would absorb my free time and such. My problem though was I had TOO MUCH free time and was simply doing nothing with it. I was afraid to give up something I had no use for and no need for along with the fact that I thought it would be too hard.....Truly the words of a lazy man. Looking back I'm having a Who The Hell Was I moment. hahaha

Lots of things are changing and they are changing for the better! I'd go into the details but for the most part I'd like to surprise you haha. Know only that its going to be pretty freakin' awesome and quite literally life changing :)

As Day 8 draws to a close I feel myself beginning to pull away from people I once found really important. Being on the other side of the fence can make you view things a lot clearer, and with that I feel people I've known for years either feeling like strangers or looking not as appealing as they once were. I guess its the fact that the closer I find myself getting to the joy I've longer for within myself, the further I pull myself away from poisons and bad temptations. Sometimes it's a little disheartening but in the end I know, that if they were meant to be in my life then they would continue to be there. I'm ok with that. Life continues on and with its uncertainty comes new chances to make great friends who will fit well with who I want to become :)

STAY BLESSED SUCKAZ

DAILY OUTIE

Day #7 Looking Back On The Week

2012-01-08T14:14:00.001-05:00

So its the final day of the first week of the brand new me, and I must say, I'm feeling great! So many things have happened in such a short amount of time I can barely sift through it all , but it's definitely manageable. I've learned some things about myself and others in my life, I've lost people and gained new friends. Made some really amazing connections and I'm working on some really cool business opportunities, and let me remind you....we are only in week one!! So as excited as I am , it just means I need to hunker down and work that much harder. In the end though I just want to enjoy myself in everything that I do, which is something I didn't do the first time around. I worked soooo hard only to end up hating everything I did and eventually myself. The key of it all is to HAVE FUN while doing the things you love. It sounds so obvious yet we always seem to get lost and end up drowning ourselves in these things and end up hating the very thing we so enjoy!
As I sit here and sip my coffee and hacking up a lung (happily hacking up a lung since its all the years of tar leaving my system)with all sense of cravings gone , I see the start of this project a HUGE success, and I so look forward to the days ahead. I know I have a lot of hard work ahead of me , but the burden of getting there and feeling like I'll never be able to do it is gone. I am reveling in all thats to come and I truly cannot wait to see whats waiting around the bend.
So with that week 1 is done! I shall return tomorrow with all new things to speak of and do! I'll keep you guys up to date with my progress and I hope you are taking the time to change your every day as well! We are only at the starting line, and thankfully, the finish line is no where in sight...why is that a good thing? It's never about the destination my friends, the best parts always happen during the journey!!

MUCH LOVE!!!

DAILY OUT

Day #6 - Falling Down and Getting Up

2012-01-07T15:55:00.002-05:00

So I faltered a bit yesterday, I mean I got all my cleaning and stuff done, but I did NOT work out or eat the way I wanted. Here's the thing though, that's OK!! Don't get me wrong I don't plan of doing that often if at all again, but if it does happen per say...its still ok! Why? We are human! We are fallible. We can't be on point all the time everyday all day. It's damn near impossible. It's alright if you have stray negative thoughts, or a bad day, or end up slipping a bit. It's when you make the choice to stay down or get back up that counts!
With that notion in mind I woke up today even more empowered than before. I know that if I mess up here and there , that there is still tomorrow, or even the next moment to fix things and keep going. That is true strength right there.
See to me you can never really savor and relish in your victories if you've never tasted defeat. Failure is a GOOD thing so long as you don't let it take you out! Failure is a great tool in learning what works and what doesn't for you, and with that you can adjust and adapt your mindset and life for future success! Trust me , if you think everyone who is paid or successful in their field never experienced some failure, you are seriously kidding yourself. It's the fact that they fought past the brink, past the point where most people tend to give up, that they ended up where they are now!
That being said do not ACTIVELY seek out failure or just let shit slide on purpose just because you think " hey i can do it tomorrow" there's a difference between messing up and being a lazy ass procrastinator. As the great Beck once said " Procrastination is like masturbation, you're only screwing yourself". Do the best that you can all the time , and if you falter its ok. Do a half assed job and falter...well no one will really chalk that up to human error. That is just not giving a shit about your own future, and that is NOT what we are about :)

MOVING ON

So we are on day 6 of not smoking!!! I'm really happy with the way that things are progressing! My energy is shooting up and my mood seems to only climb higher! It's true when they say when you put out positive vibes , good things come to you! I have so many projects on the horizon that I can barely contain my joy!...fuck it I won't contain it. IM FREAKING HAPPY WITH MY LIFE!!!! My arms and heart are open for more and I hope to NEVER get my fill! Also, fun aside, I wanted a futon for my studio for so long but in my old state of mind I thought I could never afford it....well guess what...after this mind altering change - my friend out of nowhere is getting rid of her barely used futon! Do you guys get it now? You can have all that you want and need....but first you need to be accepting and happy with what you already have! You can't want want want, and then shun the person you are and the things you have. Enjoy where you are, and the doors that will open are limitless!!!!!

Time to work on some stuff for SFS!!! LIVING AND LOVING MY LIFE!!!

DAILY BE OUT SON!!!

Day #5 - Friday Vlog #1

2012-01-06T22:12:00.000-05:00

Here It Is!! The Friday Vlog....finally!!....

Day #4 - Reflection

2012-01-05T20:25:00.003-05:00

I'm settling in from my day, just got done cooking dinner, and still feeling under the weather but overflowing with joy. Why? Simply because I can! You see I feel that you don't always need a reason to feel good, just feel good. It's a great mentality to adopt. In that way, you can feel good no matter the circumstances! For instance, I'm stuffed up beyond belief but I'm smiling as i drink a cup of tea in my cozy little studio filled with happy thoughts...why?...no reason...and to me that's reason enough. That way I'll go to bed happy and get healthier quicker!

I think I've earned myself some cartoon time!

SEE YA MANANA!!!!!!!

DEUCES!!

Day #4 - I Has Cold....BUT WHO CARES!!!

2012-01-05T17:02:00.004-05:00

So I woke up at my now start-of-the-day time of 7:50 am to being barely able to breathe...so uncool. I must have caught the sniffles or a cold. At first I laid there...till about noon-ish feeling defeated. I'm thinking "Dammit! I JUST started this program of change and what happens 4 days into it?! I GET SICK...I call bullshit!!" so yeah for about 4 hours I was a mopey little bitchnugget. Then something popped into my head that inspired me to rise to the occasion , fight through the sickness and do the things I need to do to continue on this path of regaining my self worth : My mother.
I think most of us can agree...our mothers went through some stuff when we were young. Having to work through probably being 3 times as sick to support us while we lived our carefree lives is truly a feat. I can remember right off the top of my head maybe 100 times my mother was hospital grade sick AND still went to work AND cleaned the house AND put food on the table.... and yet I had the nerve to complain about the most trivial of things. I mean of course I was a child back then but still, looking back I see the strength that she had - so having a simple cold or stuffy nose or headache is no excuse to me. From now on I'm going to adopt that mindset anytime I feel I'm too rundown or too blah to push through.
Once I tapped into that part of myself I went through my day as if I wasn't sick at all! Mind you I'm still stuffed up and my throat is a little hoarse, but man I'm SOOOO glad I worked out and did the things I needed to do. Its a great feeling of accomplishment when you battle through things you initially think is too much, and then you realize it was nothing at all. We all have that inner strength to overcome any obstacle in our path, no matter how large or small. Once you realize that - then everything is a piece of cake, and nothing is out of reach.

Oh yeah....4 days cigarette free. Dig on that!

Off to make dinner for myself and my inspiration of a mother.

Moral of the day : If there's an obstacle in front of you, climb it - kick it - burn it - judo chop that bitch down...just push through ...and trust me you'll make it out ok :)

DAILY GOOOOOOOOOONE

P.S.

Here are some post work out photos. I think I look smexy. Almost a week of working out daily and i think I'm getting somewhere. What do you think??

Abs are coming in nicely

I'd say after a weeks worth of work I'm doing pretty well

half-flex. When you wanna look Quasi-sexy.

Ok this one even amazed me....

I call this the D'angelo pose.

I apologize for this one....DUCKFACE. dude style...

Day #3 - Reflection

2012-01-04T17:40:00.001-05:00

As the day winds down I find myself riding solo. I was suppose to hang out with someone I've been wanting to chill with for months but sadly the outcome was the same as the last time we tried to chill, it was also what effectively ended our friendship. I hope that its not the case this time but I am slightly wary.
A positive did come out of it all (always look for a silver lining) I cleaned the FUCK outta my house today. I figured I'd take a break on the lessons and programs (aside from exercising of course) to get this house in order. I can't hope to achieve the goals i wish to achieve if I'm wading around in filth and clutter. A clear space is a clear mind you dig?
I guess the lesson learned today is , regardless of what caused your action, relish in your triumph. I was initially cleaning so my friend wouldn't come over to a nasty house, yet in the end I'm feeling really comfortable in my surroundings so had she came or not I'm happy in the fact that my house is clean! So I can't complain. Life is good and this coffee is freakin tasty! I'm off to watch a movie and relax. Ya'll be good now y'hear?!

DAILY OUTRO!

Day #3 - Off To A Great Start, Why Daily Dose Failed

2012-01-04T12:29:00.000-05:00

Was up by 6 and out of bed by 7:30 am! Now that's what I call a damn good start to the day!! I've gotten nearly all the things I need to get done, done, and everything else is on schedule to be finished before the days end. Now, I'm going to be honest, I made a promise to someone before I committed to this regimen that I would have a drink or two with them tonight, but there will be no smoking of any kind going on and no drinking there after - I call it my exempt night lol.
I'm feeling my old energy creeping on me. The way I used to feel long before I smoked and over did it on the drinking. In fact so much so that the cravings have all but ceased (aside for the one I had when walking past the dining room table and seeing that solitary cigarette that my mother left home...THANKS MOM.) I honestly think the best feeling I've had so far was singing in the shower...and not having my throat seize up on me as it usually does. Don't get me wrong I'm no where near where I was...but after three days of no carcinogens I'm truly surprised at the results. It's things like that , that keep me pushing forward with exercise , daily planning, learning, eating better and overall thinking better. It all stems from finally making the choice to commit to change.

NEXT

From doing this the last couple of days I can see why I failed last year: trying to vlog every damn day is a death wish. Trust me guys , if you don't have any help and your trying to do a 10 minute daily vlog (why did i always try to do 10 minutes) it will stress you out, run you down, and ultimately you will fall back into the habits you were trying so hard to break. In fact you can't tell but while I was doing Daily Dose in quite a few of the latter videos I was smoking...shit I was smoking WHILE recording the Paris/Tokyo video. I was pretty ashamed of myself. I took on far too much on and off screen. Doing one video of Daily Dose was about 30 minutes - 1 hour of filming, 2 hours of editing, an hour to render, and 1 - 2 hours to upload due to the AVCHD format. That's not even including planning from episode to episode! Plus the added weight of not getting the viewership I wanted ultimately killed the show and broke my spirit. I expected too much from it , instead of just going for my goals and enjoying myself. It stopped being fun for me....so I threw in the towel.

With this format I feel I have more freedom to just be , and typing is a helluva lot easier than trying to be witty 5 days a week. I feel more compelled to tell you about my progress, excited even! I'll still be vlogging but only once a week on Fridays. It'll allow me to still showcase my goofy side...but I'll actually look forward to it this time...instead of dreading it. My goals seem a lot more attainable than ever before and my stress level is non existent. Time will tell if this will be the case in about 3 weeks but my hopes are high!

Well that's it for now. Off to walk the dogs and I shall return with an end of the day recap!

Moral of this story:
DON'T BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW...or you'll CHOKE.

DAILY OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT.

Day #2 - Reflection

2012-01-03T22:18:00.001-05:00

Another day down, and I'm still kicking ass. I mean I'm only two days in but I put it in the perspective that each day if I achieve at least one or two things I set out to do , well that's a victory to me!

So finally after having it on my computer for like a year I gave Singing Success a try. After the MIND NUMBINGLY LONG INTRO... No seriously the intro to this glorious program is what put me off to it in the first place...look I understand you want me to learn terminology but seriously just tell me to reference to it AS I'm learning...don't beat me over the head with it BEFORE I even get to the meat and potatoes. Damn near drove me mad....ANYWHO when I FINALLY got to the lesson plan I was simply astounded as to what it did after only one lesson.
Now for those of you who know me I've been singing pretty consistently since I was three. With this one lesson I was able to do things I wouldn't and dare I say couldn't before hand. It's honestly a really cool program and if you are looking to become a singer or refine your singing please by all means look into it or contact me and I'll give you the info :)

Well the night is winding down and I gotta say I got a lot done today. Nearly on day three of being poison free and its a beautiful thing, my blog is gaining more views each day (loving the views from the Ukraine and Germany...how randomly awesome is that?!) and by Friday I will be posting my first vlog so that should be fun.

Tomorrow is another day to take life by the horns and ride that shit....and look at me....seems I got my cowboy hat....RODEO ON BITCHES!!!!

Daily Out!

Day #2 - What this is about, Dealing with the past and CRAVINGS!!!!

2012-01-03T16:05:00.000-05:00

So I've made it to day two! Astonishing! Never in a million years did I think I could not smoke for two days under my own will power. (brushes dirt off shoulder ^_^ ) I gotta say it is pretty tough to avoid the wacky tobaccy...I had a craving bitchslap the hell outta me at about 3 a.m. ...Twasn't fun I tell you that. Yet I stay hopeful that this trend of working hard and staying true will pay off.

And we move on.....

A couple of you have asked me what this is all about and although I thought I did a pretty good job of explaining it, I guess I'll go more in depth. I woke up about 2 or 3 weeks before new years , after drinking god knows how much and blasting through 2 packs of cigarettes in one night, I had a realization : I'm wasting my life away. Sure I was having fun but even afterwards I felt as if I was standing still as the world passed me by. I have plenty of talent and a lot of potential, but I was wasting it in getting well...wasted!

Now don't get me wrong I do have things that I have done that I am more than proud of, but in the end I knew I could do so much more if only I applied myself on a daily basis. Hence Project : Restart was born. The point of this project is to free myself from unhealthy vices (such as smoking and wasting ungodly amounts of time surfing the net) and replacing them with things that will further my career ( voice lessons, getting into shape, learning a new language, etc). I've amassed a great deal of tools, programs and equipment to help me hone myself into the all around artist I once saw in myself.

For my exercise regimen I've decided to do 7 weeks to 100 push ups as well as 6 weeks to 200 crunches which are absolutely free! If you are interested you can visit the website and join me in whipping ourselves into shape!Go here to learn more :) . I've also acquired a reflex bag (thanks Steve) and have a tower 200 to help with my gains.

On the learning tip, I've gotten Rosetta Stone and the entire Japanese language learning set, Singing Success for my voice , Learn & Master Guitar ....well that's self explanatory lol, and a few other minor things but I'll get to that another time.

If there is anything I've touched on that you would like to learn more about feel free to message me!

and now for the closer....

As I make this change from who I am into who I want to be, I see the past arise as if trying to test me. You learn that you let go of certain people for a reason - as you grow sometimes others, unknowing to them, stay the same. I had quite the experience with a past friend today which made me realize that she was more poison than good, but being in the state of mind I was in before I decided to work on myself, I couldn't see that. Shit, all we ever did was fight cuss and carry on - made up - only to fight again! Lets be real if you have a relationship like that be it with a friend, family member or lover...That shit is not healthy nor is it conducive to your own personal growth. The lesson I learned from that is , evaluate the relationships you have with others. If what you have with them is more headbutts than brofists....then its time to cut in run. Take value in yourself, that also includes the relationships you participate in. If they ain't down for you...then bless them and be on your way.

OH I got bored so I took a couple pics...the first is to show my starting point at the program...the second,....well that's what happens when you get bored with Photoshop ! Peace and love.

Day #1 - Reflection

2012-01-02T21:54:00.000-05:00

Today was a massive clusterfuck .... but in the end it all worked out, not the way I wanted, but I honestly have no complaints. I found the majority of the things I had for my iPod in eBook form so that saved me a lot of stress. What really held me back was the not smoking...not so much having the urge to do it as it was me having ZERO energy from NOT smoking! Go figure.
One of my biggest problems with starting any project is having the sheer will power to either start or finish it. To me that is my biggest hurdle. To be honest I'm kind of glad I lost my iPod, because it's forcing me to be more reliant on myself - to utilize my own mind and will rather than having some electronic device guide me step by step. I think we are all guilty of that to some degree. We use so many different things, people, excuses for crutches to help us hobble along when we know damn well we have the power to do it ourselves. I'm excited to see what limits I can reach and shatter!....That being said...I DO miss my tetris....IPOD WHERE ARE YOU?!

*sniffle*

Day #1 - Off to a rocky start....

2012-01-02T16:30:00.000-05:00

So my day started at 8 am. First thing I did was gave any remaining cigarettes I had a nice swim in a jar of water, tore them to shreds and tossed them in the trash. I had to remove any temptation, and I have to say....not as bad as the first time I gave them up....although it is only day 1 so we shall see how long this easy going vibe lasts. OH! Word to the wise....if you are a pack-a-day or more smoker ( like I was ) should you decide to go cold turkey remember this : Nicotine is a stimulant....so once you drop it....so does your energy. It'll take a few days before your body recovers and gets used to not getting blasted with nicotine goodness on the regular.
ANY-WHO, I started cleaning and getting everything together for the first day of the new me when I realized the most crucial piece of this entire project was (and still is) missing : MY IPOD. I spent weeks trying to find the perfect programs to use in this project, so not having them is like someone kicking me in the groin at the start of a race - you can still win, but now you gotta work through that nut-shot! ^_^
I've managed to find a few eBooks to hold me over until its found/returned/re-materializes from the ethereal realm, but until then I'll have to do the best with what I have. The project is still a go...but it's definitely going to be a big pain in the ass being tethered to my PC. For those of you who have been in this matchbox of a studio you'll understand how difficult it will be to do a jumping jack without knocking myself into a coma.

WISH ME LUCK!!!! (puts on helmet)

Last day of the old me, and welcoming new beginnings.

2012-01-01T16:34:00.000-05:00

As I smoke my last pack of cigarettes and sip on my final glass of wine for a while, I'm reflecting on all the goals I set out to do over the last year and realized: I achieved nearly NONE of them. Now as negative as that sounds I can only sit here and laugh. By all means I should feel like a failure , but I don't. I'm 26 years old with an overabundance of talent and potential and yet here I sit in nothing but a towel wondering why I haven't done anything for myself - with myself in this life of mine. When these questions arise it always comes down to this : Me.
You see we all create the paths that we walk on. Every decision , every choice we make, helps to pave the way for a new network of opportunities - or a bevvy of missed ones. We can want all we choose to, dream as large as we can and have ideas that dwarf even the Sun - yet at the end of the day if we don't ACT with these ideals , these dreams, that is all they will remain : dreams.
Now you see why I'm laughing. I have no one to blame for my state as it stands besides me. My life has come to a stand still NOT because of the actions of others, but because of a LACK of action on my part. I get halfway there, say "meh this is good enough" , and drop the ball. Is it any wonder why I'm still waiting in the wings for my chance to shine? Of course not! At this point I'm beyond ready to hold myself accountable for not being the man I've dreamed of being. I'm ready to make a change - starting now.
That brings us to this lovely new blog called Project : Restart. Why is it called as such? The reason is because I feel I'm back at the starting point of it all, as if the game has ended and my finger has jammed the reset button. To most that would seem like a bad thing. For me it's a chance to start fresh and to make the choices and moves I so NEED to make , to have the life I feel I deserve.
Come Monday I will begin working on my vocals to a near militant degree , working on my body inside and out to become a healthier me, become a better dancer and writer, finally shoot the films I've always wanted and more. I'll set short term and long term goals to keep myself motivated and grounded and hopefully you will be here to see it all. Also every Friday I will post a video detailing my progress as well as blog every day to keep you abreast to all that is going on.
This year is about restarting, renewing, rejuvenating and reviving the spirit that once raged inside me. Here's to 2012, and here's to the Restart we all deserve!!!

*takes another puff and another sip* SALUD!!!